Try some simple techniques
Resume long, slow, fluid strokes to the whole of the back and include arms and legs into your massage pattern. Hands and fingers can also be gently massaged here – use your thumbs in a circular motion for the palms. Repeat this 3 to 4 times.
Keep in mind that you want to follow the flow of the muscles, not work against them. And try to notice what pressure points your partner is responding to. Do they sigh or moan happily when you rub their neck or tense up if you go near their ticklish ribs?!
Next, stack your hands flat on top of each other, then create flowing figure-8 motions from lower right, up to left shoulder, across upper back, down to lower left. Repeat this 3 to 4 times.
Give their neck and shoulders some love
Without breaking contact, position yourself at the end of the bed so you’re able to press into the neck and shoulders and work your way back down your partner’s body.
Use thumbs and fingers to gently pinch and knead the neck and shoulder muscles, increasing pressure on tense areas. Repeat 4 to 5 times.
Incorporate some sexier movesMove with intention and consent, travelling to more intimate external erogenous zones to tease and build anticipation.
Start with gentle cupping and caressing of breast and nipples, then move on to kneading the butt. Use soft slow, circular strokes to the inner thighs, gradually moving higher while occasionally sliding your hands between their buttocks to stroke the balls or labia. Teasing is hot.
Treat them to a little tongue
While you’re working on the butt massage, you can bring in little licks and kisses around the cheeks, balls, or labia. You could even try rimming your partner by gently circling their anus with your tongue.
Or, venture into light bondage and lip-biting sensory play. Adding a blindfold or wrist restraints will introduce a safe thrill, while pinwheels, feather ticklers, and spankers will up the ante. How far you go is entirely up to you and your partner.
But of course, get consent before you try anything new. Some surprises do more than break the spell of a sensual massage.
If you’re both keen to progress from sexy massage to more foreplay, instruct your lover to turn over and show you how they like to touch themselves. Exploring mutual masturbation together can be a hot way to keep building the sexual tension from your massage.
Rest together
Regardless of where the massage leads, a spot of intimate aftercare will deepen your connection and your partner’s relaxation. After the massage (and whatever follows!) is over, rest and hydrate together.
Cuddle and share gentle touches while you debrief on what you both liked about the experience. Be curious about what didn’t work so well and offer emotional support and validation. Don’t expect to get a massage in return – at least not straight away!
How to use tantric massage techniques
Tantra is a yogic practice that combines sexuality and spirituality. If you’re not that spiritual, think of it like mindfulness. Tantric massage can help you feel grounded in your body and notice what kinds of touch gives you pleasure. That’s why it’s great for couples. It gives you the opportunity to slow down, connect deeply with each other’s bodies, and learn how to have more satisfying ‘holistic’ sex.
As with all massage, creating a safe, relaxing, warm space is essential. Here’s how to do tantric massage:
· Sit together and connect by looking into each other’s eyes and breathing slowly and deeply together.
· When ready, ask your partner to lie on their back with a cushion placed under their hips to elevate the pelvis.
· Place one hand on their heart and the other on their stomach - encourage deep belly breaths that push your palm upwards.
· Turn attention to your partner’s feet and massage in gentle circular strokes paying attention to the heels, then with your thumb and fingers continue to massage up their legs.
Expert advice: Ask your partner gentle questions about pressure and pleasure, e.g. ‘How is that pressure? ‘Do you like it when I touch you here?’
· Move slowly up to the inner thighs combining long, slow strokes to the inner and outer leg.
· Move back up to the stomach and massage in a circular motion starting at the solar plexus (located in the upper abdomen, in the center of the torso). Continue with long, slow deep strokes to massage the rest of their body.
· Once your partner is fully relaxed, and you have your partner’s consent, make your way down to gently massage the Yoni (vulva) or the Lingam (penis), ensuring you have plenty of massage lube, which is safe to use on genitals.
· Use your fingertips to create small, slightly firmer, circular motions as you approach the crease near to the pelvic bone and continue to the genitals.
With tantra, ejaculation isn’t necessary to have a satisfying, sensual, and intimate experience with your partner. In fact, it's all about the build-up, so consider using edging to bring each other close to climax before slowing down or backing off.
Tantric massage aims to disperse sexual energy from the genital area to the whole of the body, resulting in full-body, mind-blowing orgasms when you do finally climax. This experience can help deepen your connection with your body as well as your partner.
Remember, the most powerful tool in any sensual experience is genuine care, respect, and connection. A massage is a conversation without words—make it a dialogue of desire, comfort, and mutual pleasure.
