Using role play in the bedroom is about much more than indulging your long-held and unspoken fantasy about that traffic warden who once fined you.
By adopting a different persona, many people find it easier to open up and explore situations and practises that they would never normally broach, allowing them to experience greater fulfilment and also bringing them closer to their partner.
But how do you get into it without feeling a little, well, ridiculous? Read on below to see not only how you can choose the scenario (and outfit) that's right for you, but how to fully enjoy your foray into the world of character play.
What do you want?
Ah, the age-old question. But if you're thinking about introducing a little bit of role play to your love life, it's important to think about what you want to get out of it.
Perhaps you want to try a little bit of bondage for the first time, but are too shy to introduce it, 'as yourself'. In which case, a spot of police-themed play is an easy and non-threatening choice - after all, you'll need the handcuffs as part of the uniform, right?
Do you want shake up your routine, but aren't necessarily comfortable with donning a full costume? Something as simple as popping on a wig or a new item of clothing, going to a bar with your lover and pretending to be strangers exchanging lingering glances across the room will bring back that excitement without taking you too far out of your comfort zone.
Consider as well the power dynamic that you're after. If you fancy the idea of your lover coming over all bossy and telling you what to do, role play situations that cast you as the submissive party are ideal (think secretary and boss, doctor/nurse and patient, or even master/mistress and slave). Fancy being in charge? Just flip the roles.
Whether you've got a clear scenario in your mind, or you're simply looking to try something a little different, it's always worth identifying your desires as it will help to inform how the role play unfolds, and take some of the pressure off both you and your partner.
Once you know what you want, it's time to discuss it. After all, if you hand them a skimpy firefighter outfit with no context, they may be a little reluctant to join in.
Explain exactly what you want to happen in your fantasy. If they know exactly what you're after, it becomes easier to improvise around the 'plot' rather than just winging it, which could lead to both of you feeling uncomfortable as well as not fulfilling your desires.
If you're worried that they may feel a little slighted by your fantasy, and suddenly believe that you're lusting after every police officer you see, try framing it in the context of a dream that places them in the role you want. "I had a dream where you were a police officer who handcuffed my hands behind my back and then had your way with me" is a little easier for some to swallow than, "I want to have sex with a cop."
It's also important at this stage to set your boundaries. Discuss with them what you are and aren't comfortable with them doing or saying. If you're involving any sort of bondage in your play, remember to set a safe word so that your partner knows exactly when you want them to stop.
So now you know exactly what you want your role play to involve, it's time to pick out your costume.
If you're a little nervous about dressing up, there's no need for you to go all out first time around: just add some small accessories, such as a stethoscope, or a hat, to set the scene. As with choosing any clothing, it's important to pick styles that you'll be comfortable in.
Take into consideration your body shape and look for styles that are similar to things you already wear, as this will help you feel most confident during your play. If you're looking to disguise your hips and bottom, a flared skirt is a fabulously flattering choice; or if you're arm-conscious, look for costumes with sleeves.
Costumes with cut-outs are great for highlighting a slim waist, while those who want to show off their cleavage should look for plunging necklines or front zip details.
Once you've got the scenario sorted and the perfect costume picked out, it's time to think about your set.
Does your fantasy involve a desk? Make sure you've got one in easy reach, and clear it of anything that could easily be broken. Acting out a little interrogation?
Dim all the lights except for one lamp to create the mood. By changing up the setting and adding a few extra touches, it makes it much easier to pretend that you're not, in fact, in your front room or bedroom, but are in fact in a classroom or prison cell, which will add authenticity to your play.
And if you get the giggles? Don't worry - it's meant to be fun, after all!
